As divorce solicitors based in Manchester City Centre we have over 60 years experience in advising and assisting married couples who’s relationship has come to an end.  On many occasions the ending of the relationship is a mutual decision and its merely a case of tying up loose legal ends. However, the more common scenario we assist is the battle that enthrals following a hurtful separation.  Couples can end up tearing each other apart as they go through a difficult divorce.

Does it have to be that way? At BPS we think not.  Should you find yourself in the mist of divorce you will know that there is already so many changes occuring in your life physically, emotionally and financially that you are left will little energy to fight. We believe that energy is better channelled into finding your new path in life.  Our divorce lawyers are specially trained in handling complex divorce settlements and are more than capable of taking the legal fight for what you are rightfully entitled to off your hands, leaving you time to focus on yourself.

It appears that the Government agree with us.  They are now spending £14m creating a “good divorce guide” and offering support services for couples who are finding it difficult to cope as their marriage comes to an end.  We expect the focus will be on compromise. Persuading both husband and wife to reach a quick and relatively painless settlement.  With years of experience dealing with divorce cases we know without doubt that this is not always possible, as much as it is desirable.

We also expect the Guide will focus on children, who can often be the main sources of conflict.  The Courts recognise and prioritise the needs of the children and are quick to acknowledge that divorce can be emotionally damaging for the children.  The law puts the needs of children above all else in divorce proceedings and will do what is best for them. Judges try to ensure that children retain contact with both parents and the Government has recently backed this approach, stressing the need for “shared parenting” wherever possible.

This means there is little value in either parent trying to deny the other contact, unless there are valid concerns about the safety of the child in cases where abuse may be an issue.

It’s also important for divorcing couples to be realistic about money. Men can often resent paying maintenance, even if they have been married for 30 years and their wife has stayed at home to look after the children. In these circumstances, men have to accept that the financial settlement may compensate the wife for the fact that her earning power diminished while she gave up work to concentrate on the family. We have seen a strong shift away from this scenario are recognise that in many cases it is the women who bring home more household than the men. Equally, in this situation the woman would be advised to consider that she may have to provide financial support to her husband following their separation.

By the same token, couples divorcing after a short marriage that hasn’t produced children and hasn’t interrupted their careers or earning capacity may have to accept they’ll get no or very little maintenance from the other.

Both partners also need to be honest providing full and frank disclosure throughout the negotiations. There’s been a growing trend recently of people trying to hide some of their assets in secret accounts or in someone else’s name in order to get a better settlement. This rarely works and can cause further complications and expense.

If couples still can’t agree despite their best efforts then it may help to try mediation. This is an informal process in which a trained mediator helps the couple to resolve difficult issues. The mediator’s role is to act as a facilitator to help the couple share information and reach an agreement. It is not to offer advice or favour one side or the other.

Once the couple reach agreement, the mediator will record it in two summaries. Both husband and wife should then give those summaries to their respective solicitors so they can form the basis of a consent order. At BPS we are highly experiences in preparing the necessary legal documents to formalise your agreement and make sure everything is water tight. It is important you have a divorce solicitor prepare this document for you. Any discrepancies can be costly in the future.

Divorce is never going to be a pleasant experience even in the most amicable of situations. At BPS we will talk to you and discuss your options. it is important to reach the best settlement both in the long term and in the short term.  There are always options available to you and we can help you chose the right one whatever your circumstances.

Please contact us if you would like to discuss any of the the issues raised in this article or any aspect of family law.

Written by Caroline Payne